Affection and Insanity
by Silly-Blue
Summary: My little contribution to Yullen Week; six short unconnected one-shots taking Kanda and Allen through minor cases of insanity and affection, make-believe and silliness on their way to the road's end and maybe even to a new beginning.
1. Misunderstanding

**Author's Notes:**

I decided that I should give Yullen Week a try. I really am quite thrilled that my favorite pairing has such a good fandom :D I think that the idea behind Yullen Week is great! Thanks to those who organized it!

I just found myself in quite a bit of trouble while trying to come up with ways to fulfill these prompts. I am by default not a very humorous person (at least my stories are not funny) and at the moment I lack creativity and patience to get things straight. Anyway, I still wanted to contribute something as an appreciation of the KandaxAllen pairing.

This is not a six chapter story, but a short collection of glimpses of Kanda and Allen's interaction based around the prompts. All of these will probably be set after the Phantom Thief G arc, so there are some potential spoilers. This chapter has Timothy in it.

**The first prompt: Misunderstanding**

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

**1. Misunderstanding: Whispering Secrets**

In the new shelter of the Black Order headquarters he felt as if secrets were louder. Omnipresent like the billowing winds beating around the two rising church towers of the main building, they circulated through the dark halls and corridors. An unceasing torrent of whispers filling the entire building. Like a backdrop. Like ghosts.

It should not have been surprising, in an institution such as the Black Order, a secret society that should always just lurk beneath the surface of reality, very rarely coming into close contact with humans. But they still were louder now that they had changed homes. Maybe, Kanda mused, what he heard were also caused by the many losses they suffered during the raid before the move. He rarely witnessed anybody openly lamenting; after the shock had settled in everything was hushed over by a very heavy silence. But now those whispers had become a part of his life here; a constant reminder that they were only humans and they could all be wiped out within the blink of an eye. And there would be nobody here to openly mourn their loss.

But the main secret, Kanda thought to know, was the very presence of something immensely dangerous within their own ranks. Only a handful knew, only a handful was afraid. The rest was secrets and everybody felt them.

-

He too was starting to get anxious about something that should not matter to him, but those secrets and whisperings were getting on his strained nerves. He too felt the weight of someone who should not be there walking amongst them. Allen Walker felt like a revenant to him. He didn't belong to this world anymore, but he still moved within its closed circles, one foot already in another sphere. And people tended to get drawn towards him, but the danger of doing so was apparent to everybody once they escaped the close vicinity of him whose charms were so irresistible to all that refusing to like him was like a test of faith. Kanda had a strong mind and a hard to get rid of dislike for the boy, but even his resistance was faltering under the weight of what the white haired boy might become. Until now, it still was a secret, one that only shouted at him in the solitude of his room.

-

"I feel it too, you know…," Rabi told him silently as they were standing outside of an abandoned office. And there where those whispers again, Kanda realized, adding one secret to the others. But how else could one talk about the bean sprout? He openly existed, but beneath the surface he was to be the Black Order's dark secret. "Nobody of us can pretend not to care about what is happening to Allen. We know him, Yu, we know that he must be one of the best humans to walk this earth. Continuing to put our faith in him should not be difficult, we know that he would never betray us, but there is this fear just lurking on the surface of my sub-conscious. Not really about being betrayed, but about everything the fact that he is not only Allen, but more, means for us humans. There is just something… I don't know…"

"It's the secret. That's all." Rabi looked at the dark haired exorcist, then he pulled his mouth into an uncertain half-grin.

"It's too easy to put it that bluntly. Of course it's a secret, but _we_ know. I don't feel bad about the others not knowing. There is nobody I want to tell it to, as long as I can talk about it," Rabi replied and Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"Then why are you talking to _me_?" he asked and Rabi looked at him in surprise. Kanda snorted and folded his arms in front of his chest. "Even though you two are such great friends you don't manage to talk to him about it. It _is_ the secret. And all those tedious things that are connected to an already insufferable guy add up to it. Nobody of us would want anything to do with him." Rabi lowered his head and laughed faintly.  
"That's not true… Even if it strains us, Allen is still Allen. He is a good boy."

"Tch. I don't care about that. Whatever happens to him should not concern me in the slightest. It annoys me though that he stirs up the entire order with his damn secrets."

"You don't care, but you are affected?" Kanda frowned and looked at Rabi, who had just widened his visible eye remarkably and now put on a guilty look. The dark haired exorcist looked over his shoulder and found Allen standing behind him.

"Allen! We didn't mean to…," Rabi started but didn't manage to finish his sentence. Allen didn't look particularly angry or disappointed. He must have overheard their conversation, even though it was peculiar that he had appeared out of nowhere. _Like a ghost_.

"I don't care, no matter what happens to you," Kanda answered him with a glare and Allen looked up at him. Then a smile stole on his lips, polite but strained. Kanda was sure that if Rabi had not been here he would have been graced with a first rate scowl. But that was another wide-spread _secret_ – Allen masked everything all too well.

"Well, then maybe I should just _disappear_?" The way Allen stressed this last word made Kanda look at him in wonder. But Allen just continued smiling, then he walked past him and Rabi and turned a corner, walking out of sight. When he was gone Rabi let out a breath he must have been holding. It made Kanda wonder why Rabi so tense.

"Man! Yu! That was bad! He must have heard what we said!" Rabi said with a look of guilt and worry on his features. Kanda just snorted, not all too preoccupied.

"Why should you make your thoughts about him a secret? Don't be such a coward!" Kanda snapped and Rabi sighed in defeat.

No, it should not be a secret. Kanda had told him what he thought. He did not care what happened. But there was a secret to it as well and Kanda wondered if Allen had understood.

-

By the next morning Allen was gone. The news reached Kanda during breakfast via Timothy who was running around like a beheaded chicken. Kanda grabbed him by the arm as he was running past his bench and made him stop.  
"Stop running around, that's annoying!"

"But, mister!! Haven't you heard?!" Timothy shouted and sat down next to him, but he couldn't keep still for long and grabbed Kanda's arm to cry into it. "Allen is gooooooone!" Kanda was too surprised to get his arm away from the tears and snot.

"What do you mean gone? Is he on a mission?" Kanda wanted to know.

"I have overheard people talk and the nice guy is all on his own! Maybe he was kidnapped!" Timothy let go of Kanda's arm to take something out of a bag he was carrying around. "And look how unhappy this fat thing looks!" Kanda saw Timothy pulling Timcampy up by its wings and then he sat it on the table where it listlessly started gnawing on Kanda's plate. "See?!" Kanda frowned. "It's so terrible!"

"Shut up, you're too noisy!" Kanda hissed and Timothy pouted and wiped away his tears. But what Timothy said did sound troublesome. Had the bean sprout really disappeared like he had suggested yesterday? And simply because he overheard their conversation? Kanda snorted, then he got up from his bench.

"Wait, where are you going?" Timothy asked and stuffed Timcampy back into the bag before he jumped to his feet as well.

"None of your business!" Kanda said and left the young boy standing at the entrance of the dining hall. As he was walking down the corridors he realized how loud it was. It must have become known that the bean sprout had disappeared. Did that really have such a big impact on the order? Was everything better all at once just because that source of worry was gone?

No! If the bean sprout was really gone that only meant trouble! What if he had decided to turn against them simply because he felt his friendship betrayed? Of course Kanda did not care if Allen turned into a Noah, but him being spirited away? No, that would not do. It was too uncertain, too dangerous.

-

Rabi was not quite as agitated as Timothy had been when he met him on his way to the Ark. But he still fretted quite a bit.

"Do you have any idea where the bean sprout went to?" Kanda wanted to know.

"I? Uh, I guess he went to the Asia branch…," he replied and Kanda looked at him in wonder.

"What would-," Kanda started, but Rabi interrupted him:

"Do you think he left because of what we said yesterday? I really didn't mean to hurt him, but I think I did anyway! I am an idiot!"

"Yes you are an idiot but shut up now!" Kanda shouted slamming his foot into Rabi's shin to make him get out of the way. "I'm going to make sure that he gets his ass back here!"

"Yu!" Rabi said in surprise, but then he smiled, "yes! And say sorry to him for me!"

"Say you're sorry yourself!" was Kanda's angry reply and he walked up to the Ark, ignoring anyone who had complaints about him using it without authorization. When he was inside he realized that Rabi had not followed him. He had not wanted him to, but Rabi usually joined in anyway. But it seems that this time the situation was not funny enough for him to come. What exactly had been the reason for the bean sprout to disappear so suddenly? It was not a mission and apparently Link had not been informed. He had also left Timcampy and Timothy behind. But if he ran away – for whatever reason – then why the hell was he in the Asian Branch now? That didn't make sense! Unless he wanted to attack it somehow or hoped that Bak or maybe that Rofa girl, who's so infatuated with him, would help him somehow. Kanda snorted in annoyance and opened the door connected to the Asian Branch. The guard was surprised to see him, but as Kanda was widely known he stepped aside wordlessly.

"Where is the bean sprout?" The man just looked at him in wonder, "that guy with the white hair!"

"Uhm… As far as I know he is in Branch Leader Bak's office…," he replied and Kanda immediately departed. He knew his way well enough and soon stood in front of the doors. Not one to eavesdrop he just grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open forcefully. Maybe for dramatic effect to interrupt any shady discussions between Bak and the soon-to-be Noah. But Bak just looked up at in surprise and Allen turned his head around.

"Kanda? What are you doing here?" Bak wondered and put down the tea cup. "Is something the matter at the Order?" Kanda didn't really listen to him, he just glared at Allen. None of the two looked worried, simply a bit surprised at Kanda's sudden appearance. What was going on here?

"I am here to take that idiot back," Kanda said and the white haired exorcist looked at him in wonder. "You can't just disappear!"

"Disappear? Where you planning on running away, Walker?" Bak asked in confusion and Allen shook his head.

"I am not running away. I came here on behalf of Komui because I had to test out a new communication system." Kanda looked at him in wonder.

"What?"

"A communication system, Bak upgraded the golems, because a lot of you just aren't fond of the communicator earrings," the boy explained and Kanda didn't say anything at all for a while. Allen frowned, then he had to laugh, "and you thought that I'd be running away? Why?"

"Because you overheard us talking yesterday and the whole order is in a state of chaos," Kanda said after a while, unsure of what exactly was going on at the moment.

"The whole order? It wasn't when I left two hours ago. Link knows where I went and Komui of course knows as well. There should not be any commotion, not about me anyway. Maybe you misunderstood something?" Kanda wondered how one could misunderstand Timothy's wailing and Rabi's uneasiness. Not to mention all this loud noise within the order. It can't be that he simply misunderstood! Allen laughed when he saw Kanda's face. "I really am not running away! Just because I heard you two gossip doesn't mean that I'm going to run away crying!"

"But you said you'd disappear!" Kanda argued, ignoring the bit about him gossiping with Rabi.

"I was joking! Do really think that I would do something drastic like that just because you would like me gone?! I don't give so much weight to your opinion, idiot Kanda!" Allen said with a laugh and Kanda started fuming in anger but also embarrassment.

"Tch!" With that Kanda turned around and left as fast as he had come. The first thing he did back at home was grabbing Timothy by the collar and glaring down at him.

"W… What's that scary look?!" Timothy shrieked, trying to wiggle free, but Kanda was too angry to let him escape.

"The idiot is not gone! Don't go spreading lies!" Timothy widened his eyes.

"But he is really gone! I heard people talk! I am sure that he was kidnapped!" he shouted and Kanda just intensified his glare.

"Kanda, don't threaten Timothy!" Timothy's features lit up instantly as he saw who was putting his hand on Kanda's arm.

"Allen! You're back!" Kanda let go of the boy with a snort.

"Timothy, you must have misunderstood something, I just was at another Branch for a moment. I was never really gone," he said and Timothy let out a sigh of relief, but then he handed Allen the bag with Timcampy.

"But why is this fat thing so listless?!" Allen looked at Timcampy who flew up and settled itself on Allen's head.

"Are you lazy Timcampy?" The golem started chewing Allen's hair. "See? Everything is alright, maybe he was angry that I left him at home, but he had fallen asleep on Link's head…" the exorcist said with a laugh and Timothy giggled as well, all worries apparently blown away. Only Kanda was a whole lot annoyed at this stupidity. "Are you still angry with us, Kanda?"

"Of course! You annoy the hell out of me, both of you!" he hissed, then he started walking away with fast strides, leaving the two idiots behind. He realized that suddenly the noise seemed to have died down remarkably. That couldn't be a coincidence! And here they were again, all the whispers following him wherever he went. What was it? Only his imagination?

He opened the door to his room, but before he could close it a hand grabbed it, holding it open.

"Kanda? What's wrong? It's not like you to go running after me," Allen said and Kanda glared at him. Even though Allen seemed to be reluctant to spend more time than necessary in Kanda's presence, he still came into the dimly lit room and closed the door behind him. Kanda felt immediately threatened by that.

"Someone has to keep an eye on you! Who knows that you'll do!" Kanda hissed and Allen looked at him with a frown.

"You think I'll turn into a Noah without someone looking after me? It's not my choice, you know?" he said with anger in his voice.

"I don't care if you turn into a Noah, but you can't go running away like that!"

"I thought you didn't care what happened to me!" Allen argued and Kanda nodded in annoyance.

"I don't care, exactly!" Allen threw up his hands in exasperation, then he stemmed them into his hips.

"Fine. You don't care. Then what's the big deal about it anyway?"

"It's the secret," Kanda told him and Allen widened his eyes in wonder.

"The secret?" Kanda nodded, "you mean that it unnerves you that you cannot openly talk about it? I know it's a burden, but _you_ don't have to carry it. There are so many things we don't know about each other and that's fine. I won't get angry at Rabi for not speaking to me about his worries. Neither will I get angry at you for disliking me". Kanda continued glaring at him, so Allen considered this discussion over. He turned around to leave, but Kanda spoke up:

"I really do not care about you turning into a Noah. Do it if you must, join the Earl if you feel like it, I don't care what you do. And that is what angers me the most. There's a secret to it as well," Kanda told him and Allen turned around with a look of surprise and wonder in his eyes. "What do you mean?" Kanda was silent, but here in his room, here with Allen right in front of him, the secret could not suffer to be silent any longer. It too wanted to become a constant whisper following Allen around. The young exorcist looked at him in anticipation. "I don't care because no matter what happens I will follow you," he confessed reluctantly. Allen was silent after hearing that and Kanda let himself drop on his bed with a groan, looking at Allen, waiting for some kind of reaction.

"You'd follow me…? No matter where my path takes me? Are you trying to make a fool of me?" Allen asked, but Kanda just glared at him as an answer, and Allen lowered his head and laughed lightly.

"Well, that's nice," he said after a while and raised his head, wearing a grin on his face, "I always wanted some minions following me around, I guess I have two now! Ah, plus Timcampy!"

"I am not a minion you damned bean sprout!" Kanda shouted, standing up at once and Allen had to laugh, lifting his hands defensively. "Tch! Damn you! Get out of my room if you want to make fun of me!"

"I don't want to make fun of you, Kanda. Thank you for letting me know this _secret_. I appreciate that that you will stand by me no matter what happens. I can really use some people who trust that I will make the right decisions. But I don't know why you chose to do so. Trust me, I mean. Everything I do seems to be pointless in your eyes anyway," Allen said and Kanda snorted which earned him a frown.

"Of course, a lot of things you do are downright outrageous and stupid. But still, I know what I must do. However, no matter how much you wail, I will not say those words to you!" he said in slight embarrassment and Allen smiled.

"Oh, fine them. At least I know that you are my friend even though you won't admit to it!" He said with a laugh, "and maybe I'll get you to say _those words_!"

"Never," Kanda hissed, but his mouth was pulled up into a dark smirk. Allen had to grin as well, then he left Kanda with a polite smile. And Kanda knew that the secret, now a whisper between them, would not chain Allen, but it would help him pave his own path. He was sure of it, and Kanda wanted to see where it led. And maybe, maybe one day he would tell this overly annoying guy was he really thought. But until then, he would let the secrets continue whispering.

**Notes:**

I'm a bit unhappy how this turned out. I found it hard to write a satisfactory end and to keep the initial mood. Also, there's no romantic interaction of them, but at least there is affection, even though it's a secret. :D This chapter focused mainly on Kanda's mind, and these whispers as he calls them are mostly his own feelings towards Allen nagging him.

Continued tomorrow, even though with a totally different thing, unrelated to this one-shot ;3


	2. Prank

**Author's Notes:**

Here it is, the completely unrelated second entry for Yullen Week! X3

This reply to the prompt does not continue the more introspective mood of the last one-shot. It's completely and unreasonably silly. I'm sorry. XD

I had an idea how to make this dark, but I doubt that I want to make my entire Yullen week entry a heap of angsty and moody stories! *lol* Therefore, have some short silliness for comic relief. This times no spoilers, but an attempt at writing Link (not my first though).

Yet again, no romance, very tame.

**Prompt 2: Prank**

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

**2. Prank: A deliberate mix-up**

Allen had travelled far both with Mana and with General Cross. He had seen many different cities all over Great Britain when he and Mana had worked as street performers. And he had followed Cross to wherever that guy wanted to go. He'd say that he had travelled quite far, but there were still many, many places he did not know yet. Certain people that Allen better left unnamed found it a great impediment that they could only travel to places via the Ark that Allen already knew and could form a connection to in his mind. Unfortunately Innocence was to be found in a lot of places Allen hadn't even heard of. That person, better left unnamed, had been immensely angry when Allen had gotten a connection wrong because of a mix up of places and they had been stuck to travel three days on a fisher boat to reach their actual destination for Allen to amend his mistake. The aforementioned person swore revenge for making him waste precious time on a shabby cutter reeking of fish. Allen didn't know if he could take Kanda seriously in any way when the guy was just angry to have had to suffer Chao Zhi puking over his boots. That had certainly not been Allen's fault, who would expect a sailor to get sea sick. And apart from that Kanda had no reason to be angry because Allen thought he had already repented enough for scrubbing Kanda's already dirty boots spotlessly clean without any major complaint. He had made a mistake, he had tried his best to correct it and that was the end of the story. At least for him, but expect Kanda to hold silly grudges.

-

Allen didn't expect anything when he was assigned another mission to another unknown place where they had no immediate access to the Ark (even though once there he could summon a gate anywhere, but without authorization Link wouldn't let him, that much was sure). It was the usual constellation once again; he, Kanda and Link to watch them, but especially to watch him. But Allen felt less tense knowing that Link would watch his every move than he was knowing that Kanda would be there again. Well, it was not that he was anxious in the other's presence, but he did feel the need to get things right when he was around. Or Kanda might force him to start cleaning his clothes next for every little mistake he made. Allen sighed when he thought about that.

"I'm just being too nice. There's no reason for me to give in, but even it is Kanda, I don't want any trouble with him. He's difficult enough to deal with when he's in a relatively indifferent mood…"

"Walker, why aren't you wearing your uniform?" Link asked as they were making their way to their assigned door, calling Allen back from his silent pondering. He looked down and lifted his arms with a smile. He was still wearing his casual clothes.

"The science division had to fix it after the last mission and as they were so busy it didn't get finished in time. But I heard that someone would bring it to me before we leave…," Allen said with a sigh, looking around. Link didn't retort anything and just checked his watch. Kanda was usually punctual, was he still sulking because of what happened last time? Allen really wished that there was someone else to keep Kanda's mood in check. For example Mari, he seemed to know how to make the idiot shut up without earning himself one of Kanda's tantrums. But sadly, this mission didn't require another exorcist's assistance. It was nothing difficult; just a report of Innocence messing up the daily lives of the inhabitants of a small village. There probably were some Akuma involved as well, but Allen was more worried about Kanda getting on his nerves than having to fend off level one Akuma.

When Kanda finally joined them he handed Allen a suitcase. Link started complaining, but Kanda cut him off:

"Your uniform," he said with a snort.

"Ah, finally. You're quite late Kanda!" Allen said with a sigh which made Kanda glare at him.

"Tch, you could have gotten it yourself instead of waiting for it!" The dark haired exorcist argued, then his angry face changed and he started to smile smugly. Allen looked at him suspiciously but there was no remark following that suspicious smirk.

"You can slip into the uniform later on, just hurry up, we are already delayed by two minutes," Link said in a strict tone, consulting his pocket watch. Allen shot Kanda a last dirty look, then the door was opened to the closest place Allen knew – fortunately the village was only a two-hour walk away from it. They were lucky this time. And apparently Kanda found no reason to complain.

"Well, we better set off immediately," Link said when the gate opened and they found themselves in a backyard. He refrained from asking why they usually landed in backyards of pubs when Allen was left to chose the destination himself. But he halfway expected that it would only reward him with a haunted look that implied that General Cross was somewhat involved.

"Wait, let me change first!" Allen argued and Link sighed.

"Let's get into the pub, but be quick," he said and they all followed Allen into the building. The youngest exorcist decided to change in the small restroom and Link dutifully waited outside.

"You seem oddly content today," Link remarked calmly when Kanda lent against the wall facing the toilet's door. "Is there a reason to it?"

"That's none of your business," Kanda said harshly and Link glared at him indignantly. Then he turned toward the door and knocked.

"Walker, what's taking you so long?" he asked.

"Maybe the idiot can't get dressed without help?" Kanda suggested with a sneer, but Link saw all too well that Kanda was apparently enjoying himself to some extend. That was highly suspicious in itself.

"I just think that there was some mistake made," they heard Allen say from behind the door, but he didn't open yet.

"If they sewed on a button wrongly then you can complain later on, why have no time for this," Link said and knocked again in order to urge Allen to hurry up.

"No, really." Allen insisted and Kanda stepped forward kicking the door so that it flew open. Allen stood in front of the sink, suitcase put on top of it and stared at them. Link widened his eyes but Kanda looked more satisfied than ever. Allen wasn't wearing the right uniform, he hadn't even put on the jacket yet, but it already became apparent that it was as he said; there must have been some kind of mistake. Or more of a deliberate confusion of suitcases, Link mused as he threw a look at Kanda. Allen wore the usual sleeveless top, the long black gloves and his white gloves over them, but the rest was all wrong; he wore very short pants and had just been about to pull off what appeared to be white over-knee socks.

"Isn't that Linali Li's uniform?" Link wondered, blushing slightly, but keeping his calm. Allen didn't say anything for a while, still too embarrassed to form words, but then he understood what this was all about.

"You!" He hissed and glared at Kanda, "you mixed up our uniforms!" Kanda snorted in amusement.

"Well, that can happen," he said calmly, "_certain people_ mess up cities, so uniforms can be mixed up as well." Only Link could prevent Allen from starting a major fight with the taller exorcist right there in the narrow space of the bathroom.

"We don't have the time to fight now! We'll get delayed even further! Just pull on the uniform and let's go!" He said, holding down Allen's arms.

"You want me to wear Linali's clothes?! You can't be serious, Link!" Allen argued, but Link just shot him a dark glare to silence him. Allen sighed in defeat and Kanda grinned victoriously.

"Such childish nonsense, you two should take your position more seriously!" Link reprimanded Kanda, but he was simply ignored. They had to wait another two minutes before Allen dared to leave the toilet. Link coughed in embarrassment, not looking at the young man for all too long.

"Let us go, we are delayed for more than a quarter of an hour!" he said and walked out.

"Is that your idea of revenge?" Allen asked once they were on their way to the village, "to make me wear women's clothes?" Kanda snorted, walking next to Allen, but with reasonable distance so that the younger boy couldn't lash out without Link noticing.

"I find it quite pathetic that Linali's clothes fit you so well," Kanda said and Allen fumed, but then he hid his anger behind a polite smile.

"I find it quite pathetic that you seem to be so keen seeing me dressed like that. Do you hide some sort of twisted fantasies?" Kanda only snorted at that, but Allen had hoped for him to react differently. So he only could pout in annoyance, but then he spotted something form the corners of his eyes. "Timcampy! Stop recording this!"

-

Allen was more than glad that he wore trousers under the skirt like uniform, because he would have been far too ashamed to jump around while killing Akuma knowing that his underwear was visible. Link refrained from making any comments when he saw a bit too much of Allen's legs, but Kanda – despite not saying much – found that his revenge was a full success. He had been lucky that Linali had agreed to his revenge, even though she and Rabi just called it a prank. But it was more than that; it was sweet payback. Payback for messing up more than any human was allowed to mess up. Of course, he also had thought about shaving Allen's head bald or dying his hair or trying a random mix of the science division's potions on him. But it all would have been too tedious to prepare. And while Rabi had Linali dressed in Allen's uniform to enjoy, he could amuse himself with Allen struggling with his skirt. Of course, seeing some people come to thank the "young lady" was just what it took to make this perfect. And Link not allowing Allen to summon an Ark's gate to spare him the humiliation of walking back in the skirt, made him almost think that Link (pervert little stalker that he was) was silently enjoying it as well.

-

Allen didn't speak one word to either Kanda or Link on their way back to the Ark. Only when Johnny dared to ask Allen why he was dressed so peculiarly and if he would have to take this as a hint that Allen preferred another type of uniform, did Allen start shouting again:

"This is all Kanda's fault! Why should I want to dress up like this! _He_'s the pervert!" All eyes fell on Kanda, but Kanda just glared at all of them, which prevented anybody from daring to say something.

"I think it really does fit you," Kanda remarked casually and Allen glared at the floor in annoyance, waiting to report to Komui. But Komui first had to calm down from seeing Allen in Linali's uniform.

"Why are you wearing Linali's clothes?! Why?! What have you done to my sister?!"

"_Nothing_, Komui, Kanda mixed up our uniforms," Allen said for the tenth time and Komui finally calmed down enough to look at Kanda over the brim of his glassed.

"Kanda?"

"It was a mistake," Kanda simply replied ("Lies!") and Komui sighed deeply, but then he clapped his hands, wanting to speak up, but Allen prevented it.

"It does not fit me! Stop saying embarrassing things! You really are not only stupid but also strange!" Allen shrieked and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Uh… Well, you found the Innocence, right? Well done. Now just…," Komui stopped himself and studied Allen up and down. "Hm, I might need to change Linali's uniform, it really shows too much skin!" Allen groaned, then he just walked out of the office and took the jacket off, even though he felt quite naked then.

"I swear, Kanda!" Allen started when he saw that Kanda was following him. He turned around and tossed the jacket at him. "Don't you think that I will let this pass!"

"As if your threats would scare me, Miss bean sprout" Kanda replied with a smirk. Allen wrinkled his nose in annoyance, but then he grinned darkly as an idea seemed to cross his mind.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that…," he said, then he turned around and continued walking, eerily laughing to himself. Kanda raised an eyebrow. "Because I will steal into your room at night, pour Komui's hair potion on you and then we'll see how _handsome_ you are with a big bushy beard, _my dear_!" Kanda widened his eyes, especially as the eerie laughter continued and echoed through the corridors, making many finders turn their heads in fright. Was that the much feared creepy side of the bean sprout that Rabi kept on talking about?

Maybe, this prank wasn't the best of ideas after all. One thing was sure, he'll sleep very, very uneasily for the next few days.

**Notes:**

Of course, this could have been continued, but I felt that stopping here was my best option. Let Kanda have some nightmares now ;3 (And me too if I have to picture Kanda with a beard *shudders*).

I hope that I'll get the next one done in time, because I'll probably be away tomorrow. But I'm looking forward to it :D Mmm. Date. X3

* * *


	3. Date

**Author's Notes:**

Here I am with the third chapter! :D As I predicted, this turned out rather angsty. I wanted to approach the "date" theme a bit differently, but I don't know if it's imaginative. And I am not sure if I'm completely satisfied with how it turned out.

And I seem to obsess over "sounds" and "vision" recently, sorry for potential reoccurring imagery *lol*

Again, this is set somewhere after the move to the new Black Order.

Also, there's inner torment and some touches (finally!). ;3

**Prompt 3: Date**

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

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**3. Date****: Make-believe**

Lately there were times where the cathedral in which the new Black Order headquarters was located, felt very empty. Missions were no longer the same as they had been in Allen's early months as an exorcist. Everything was big, everything was terrible. Allen felt the real decisive battle fast approaching. The church bells rang almost constantly these days. He had seen many people walk through the gates of the cathedral and also of the Ark who never came back again. People whose names he didn't even know. People who were replaced too fast to notice their loss. Allen, despite having matured into an able fighter, returned from all missions with injuries and pangs of guilt, even though he did manage to save many people. But not all… And those church bells… He felt their echoing through deserted corridors putting ice cold hands around his heart, squeezing it bit by bit. Suffocating and immobilizing him. And each time the bells made the towers tremble under the immense weight of what they represented Allen felt how insignificant, small and powerless he was. He could only answer their call with silence.

---

Allen sat on a chair next to one of the infirmary's occupied beds, resting his elbows on his knees and hiding his face in his hands tiredly.

"It's not your fault, Allen…," Miranda whispered next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Luckily, she and Kanda had come out of the mission relatively unscathed, Allen too only had to suffer minor injuries, "if… If only I'd done better…!" Allen felt the trembling of Miranda's hand on his shoulder and lifted his head from his dry palms to look at her. She clenched her hands to fists, trying to keep herself from crying. The young exorcist sighed, then he smiled and covered her hand with his.

"It's not your fault either, Miranda…," he said but other words of comfort failed him at the moment. Miranda hiccupped, then she brushed away the tears. Allen finally put on a more cheerful and encouraging smile.

"We were just not cautious enough. You did very well. Link probably managed to survive because you protected him." He risked a small glance at the still unconscious inspector lying on the bed, then he turned back to Miranda. "Thank you Miranda, also on his behalf. And thank you for cheering me up," he told her with a gentle smile. Miranda looked at him still with wet eyes, but then she nodded.

"Thank you Allen…" He reached out to the night table and handed her a tissue that was lying there, "Ah. Thank you," she repeated, wiping her eyes, then she looked up at the ceiling, almost stomping her foot in slight frustration, a disappointed half smile on her face. "I still feel so pathetic that I always need you to cheer me up."

"Don't be, Miranda. Have a bit more confidence in your skills," Allen told her encouragingly. The older woman smiled thankfully, then she balled her hand into a fist in determination.

"I will be more confident!" Allen laughed and Miranda smiled shyly, "You shouldn't spend your time sitting in here all on your own. Get some fresh air as well. Marie and I will have dinner later on, do you want to join us?" The white haired exorcist shook his head after thinking about it for a moment.

"Thank you, but I think I will stay a bit. I need to cool my head first…" Miranda sighed, but then she smiled and excused herself.

"See you later, Miranda," Allen said, but when the door closed he fell into silence again. He sighed deeply then he looked at Link. "Still not awake? You should wake up soon if you want to continue observing me. What if I suddenly want to, you know, blow the whole order up?" Link of course didn't stir even as Allen voiced his threats and Allen sighed deeply. "I guess not…". The young exorcist turned his head to the side where he could see the window. He could make out the crows sitting in the trees in the courtyard below. The sun was still up, but slowly sinking into twilight. But the shadows crept over the window panes, dimming the light coming through from outside. Allen wanted to look away, but he knew that this was something where even ignoring wouldn't help it go away. The shadow was staring at him from the outside, but then he reached out slowly. Allen widened his eyes as he saw the movement and the shadow's white eyes narrowing slightly. Then, with one swift movement, he slammed his fist against the window, not making one sound but forcing Allen to gasp in fright, and the church bells exploded into loud, constant lamenting again. Allen covered his ears and lowered his upper body, so that his forehead was almost touching his knees. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to breathe evenly despite the sudden feeling of suffocation that overcame him once again when he heard those _Banshees_ announcing death and even more death. Allen suddenly got up, stumbling forward because of the swift movement and nearly crushing Link. Allen clenched his fists over the sheets, his eyes darting up to Link's pale face. The young exorcist narrowed his eyes and grit his teeth in anger and frustration, then he pushed himself up again and ran to the door. He pulled it open as if his life depended on it, stepped out and closed it again. And suddenly everything felt different. Trying to catch his breath, Allen leant against the closed door in the dark corridor. There was not one sound to be heard, either the bells had stopped ringing or the walls were too solid for the sound to reach this corridor. Allen slowly let go of the door and walked some steps. He actually didn't know where he was going, so he just walked until he got into another corridor, with a lot of windows that threw in slightly reddish light from the sinking sun outside. Allen walked on for a bit, aiming for the window. He touched the glass, cold under his fingers, but withdrew again when he saw the shadow manifesting again. Allen took a step back, but then he continued walking, slowly and the shadowed followed him. Coming in and out of vision as the wall interrupted the reflecting glass time after time. For Allen it was like looking at a series of blurred pictures: wall, shadow, wall, that grin, wall, those eyes, wall, closer and always closer as Allen widened his eyes, staring at him relentlessly until-

"Umpf!" He bumped into something.

"Watch where you're going!" Allen looked up and found Kanda standing in front of him, wearing that angry look again. Allen's eyes darted to the side but the shadow had disappeared into the background again, patently drifting behind him. "I'm talking to you!" Kanda complained and Allen snapped out of his daze.

"Huh?" Kanda glared down at him, he had one arm leant against the window frame, the other one was stemmed into his hip. He looked completely calm, maybe even thoughtful, as he turned his head away from Allen to look out into the courtyard. Allen realized that in this twilight flooded corridor, without Link or his friends, he felt totally alone and misplaced. Why was that? He hadn't cared before about it, but the feeling of loneliness despite never being alone, crept into his heart. The fact that those bells always called out to him, the fact that he too might be claimed by this shadow as well, spread an immense loneliness in him. And he couldn't even forget it, not when Kanda stood so absorbed in his own thoughts in front of him.

"Kanda!" Allen called and Kanda didn't move but he looked at him out of the corners of his eye, leaning his forehead against his balled hand on the glass.

"What?" He asked, not really inviting any further talking, but Allen didn't let himself be discouraged.

"I want you to take me out," he said and Kanda raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"Out?" He wondered and Allen nodded without giving more explanation. "Tch. What idiocy are you thinking up now?"

"I just need to get out of my head for a moment," the white haired exorcist said and this made Kanda let his hand sink. He slowly turned towards Allen with a look of calm distrust on his handsome features.

"Fine," Kanda finally said and Allen's smiled at him.

---

Kanda knew that it was insane to take part in Allen's madness. But he had come to know him well enough to understand what he meant. _Out_. Of course they couldn't get out of their prison, but at least Allen could pretend. And he was rather good at it; creating worlds of his own, drawing Kanda in with nothing more than words transcending the everlasting silence following the waking nightmare of their brutal reality.

_Then_, there was nothing wrong in speaking when one should be silent. _Then_, there was nothing wrong with breaking out and living, when one should prepare for death. _Then_, there was nothing wrong in loving a person one usually disliked.

"Thank you for the rendezvous," Allen said as they walked side by side, strolling through the corridors towards one of the many doors leading out into the grounds behind the cathedral's side-buildings. Kanda had his hands deep into the pockets of his trousers, looking forward intently, but he acknowledged Allen with a silent nod of his head. After a while Allen laughed uneasily. "It's strange that we are alone. Usually Link follows me everywhere…," he confessed and Kanda graced him with a look of disapproval.

"So what? It's not as if we've ever had a real rendezvous before. I wouldn't have agreed with him trailing after you!" Kanda snorted and Allen smiled thinly.

"Of course," he said and they continued to walk in silence through the orchard framed with ivy covered walls.

They walked until they left the orchard and arrived at the cliffs overlooking the river. That was the outer boundary that they could never cross. Of course, they travelled far as exorcists but there was no escaping their role as soldiers in this war. Kanda studied the lights coming from the city beyond the river. Night was fast approaching and a cooling wind started to rustle through the leaves of the trees around them. Kanda turned his head to the side and looked at Allen. The young exorcist was a white stain in the landscape, a shape of blotted out colours that could easily be painted over. That thought left him in a state of churned up emotions that he rather ignored. But caught in Allen's calm make-believe of a world existing outside of their confinement, he couldn't turn away from his source of anxiety. Allen looked quite calm when he contemplated the lights with a look of quiet longing.

"Our world…," he started, not turning away from the sight before him, „is so narrow. It's suffocating and confining up to the point where there is no more air for me to breathe. And it's getting smaller and smaller, no matter how far we advance into the world, we're only going back. Into us, we withdraw. More and more and more until it's so tight that with one big blast everything will explode and the chains will suddenly be evaporated." Allen balled his hands into fists, then he turned to the side and looked at Kanda, "And even if it tears my body into shreds and turns me into dust; I want this. I want to expand. My heart that has been growing and growing pushes against the iron bars of its prison with a dark fiery passion. And I know that I will be devoured no matter what I do."

"Bean sprout…," Kanda said and Allen reached out to him, his hand hovering just mere centimetres away from Kanda's cheek, but he never touched him.

"I should not be afraid to disappear… But I am…" he whispered and Kanda grabbed Allen's hand, pulling him near. They stood facing each other, about two steps apart, just connected by their hands and their pretended engagement for this evening. There were no words exchanged for a while and Allen looked at their hands. "Well… Let's go back inside…," he suggested after a while and Kanda nodded, letting go of Allen's hands.

---

The two exorcists walked through the many empty corridors and halls of the Black Order. It almost seemed as if they were the only two people in the whole cathedral and it was not hard to believe now that everything was completely silent. Allen behaved as if they were actually sight seeing; they sat in a smaller chapel connected to one of the side-buildings together, looking at the many pictures and brasses hanging on the wall. Then they visited a long gallery where various busts and objects were collecting dust standing in little round alcoves and hanging on the broad patches of wall between the high gothic windows. Then they went into one of the many rooms that had its walls lined by shelves filled with many books. Finally, Allen and Kanda arrived at a hall that had various corridors leading to different parts of the order. The light was fading away now and the hall was thrown into cool shadows.

"Let's stop here." Allen said and from far away they could hear the muted noises of people. They had reached the end of their little make-believe date. "Thank you, Kanda, I was able to," he sighed deeply here and smiled at Kanda before he continued, "forget all that insanity for a while."

"I'll accompany you back to the infirmary," Kanda said after a short moment of silence and the white haired boy looked at him in surprise, "you won't find your way back alone, you idiot. Do you even have an idea where we are?"

"Oh. No, actually I don't. But I thought I'd just follow the noise," Allen said with a laugh. Kanda rolled his eyes, but then he walked past Allen towards on of the corridors, Allen following silently. He watched the back of the handsome exorcist in silence, thinking about nothing of importance. Thanks to Kanda he had greatly calmed down and also a look into the windows showed him that the shadow of the 14th had retreated. He was not gone, but he kept his distance. When they were back in the corridor leading to the rooms of the infirmary, Kanda raised his hand and stopped Allen from going further. Surprised by the sudden movement, Allen took one step back in confusion and looked up into Kanda's dark blue eyes.

"What?"

"We probably won't have a chance to repeat that," he said, "so, let's not entirely stop your make-believe." Allen looked at him in wonder. "That passion and desire to break free, remember."

"Of course I will remember, it is not as if I could forget-" but before Allen could finish his sentence, Kanda grabbed Allen's shoulder and drew him forwards into a kiss. The fingers on Allen's shoulder dug into his flesh almost painfully, but his lips where soft and left a lingering touch when he withdrew. Allen looked at Kanda with wide eyes, but the man's face was calm. He was not embarrassed about the kiss, but his eyes searched for a reaction in Allen's. The young exorcist let his head drop and the grip on his shoulders softened. Allen reached out and put his arms around Kanda's neck to pull him near, brushing his lips over Kanda's shortly before he pressed his face against Kanda's collarbones. "Don't withdraw into your self. You can still expand, without exploding and without fading away," Kanda told him quietly and Allen nodded his head, breathing in Kanda's scent; he still smelt like the early spring evening. Kanda wanted to withdraw, but Allen still held him.

"A little bit longer please," he said, "for such a cold person you feel incredibly warm…" Kanda rolled his eyes but put his arms around Allen's waist, holding him silently.

"I'm not dead yet…" After some minutes he finally let go of Allen and the boy let him.

"Thank you Kanda," Allen said as the young man was walking away without another word. He looked over his shoulder to find Allen grinning at him, "for the date! I'll definitely pay you back one day!"

"Tch. Whatever. Just focus on not messing up your missions, you idiot," Kanda told him, then he left and Allen sighed in slight disbelief. Kanda will be Kanda. But… Allen touched his chest, where his heart was beating against his ribcage, not painfully, but rather alive. It was a good feeling to know that something would stay. Even with their make-believe over, he could secretly love Kanda and be loved in return. Nobody would know, and they could silently enjoy it the emotions they felt towards each other. A part of their make-believe was true after all.

Allen opened the door to find Link just sitting up in bed and a smile of relief spread over Allen's features.

"Link! Thank God you're awake!" Allen said and walked over to him.

"I was waiting for you, Walker. Don't go walking off on your own!" Allen sighed, but there was no reason to be angry with Link.

"I'm glad that you're fine," Allen said and Link looked at him in mild surprise, but then he shook his head, also smiling slightly.

"Well, you can't be trusted to manage on your own after all, Walker."

"Ah! How mean!" But so true. And Allen was glad of it. He was not alone and somehow he would manage to defy all the death and insanity and escape the confining prison walls, if he just remembered.

---

**Notes:**

Foolish children. Continue to dream your dream of make-believe salvation and love.

Ohohoho!

End of silliness.

See you next with _**Games**_! :D


	4. Games

**Author's Notes:**

This is quite a bit delayed because I was out shopping today for half the day ;3 And then I was playing a game. How fitting! XD

Anyway here it is, not as edited as I would have wished to, but I didn't want to miss the date!

**Prompt 4: Games**

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino.**

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**4. Games: ****Innocence's playground**

It could happen, Allen knew, that Innocence turned against humans as a means of protection. However, that Innocence also turned against humans for the sake of sheer amusement – so it seemed – was unheard of. However, Allen couldn't come to another conclusion as to why he was sitting in the middle of a closed room, spirited away thanks to the Innocence.

"Damn it!" Kanda growled, walking along the walls to find a way out, but apparently there was none. "It's sealed," he said as he returned to Allen. The young exorcist sighed in defeat, but Kanda wouldn't be contented with merely sitting around and waiting to be saved. "Those cursed finders! Why couldn't they just tell us what could happen?!"

"And what exactly did happen?" Allen retorted with raised eyebrows, "there's no way that the finders could have known that the Innocence would swallow us up. Us exorcists I mean… They don't have Innocence after all…" Kanda frowned in extreme annoyance, and tapped the floor with the tip of Mugen, which resulted in a metallic sound echoing through the rectangular room.

"Just exorcists, huh?"

"Do you see Link anywhere?" Allen asked in annoyance, putting his hands on his legs and finally standing up. "He was not pulled into this trap. Therefore we have to conclude that only exorcists are affected by this." Kanda's glare just made Allen sigh. "Don't look at me like that, I can't help it!"

"Why would that Innocence go against us?! That's nonsense!"

"How exactly do you know that it even goes against us? Maybe it just wants to show us something!" Allen argued but Kanda just ignored him and turned his head around, studying the room. "Aaah, I wish that someone else had joined us on this mission! So that I wouldn't have to be stuck with you in this situation."

"I am the one who should complain. I am the one who always has to come along to baby-sit you, bean sprout," Kanda hissed and Allen snorted in disapproval.

"Anyway, let's get out of here," Allen suggested and Kanda just stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"If you haven't noticed it yet; there are no doors in this blasted room!" He told him and Allen just rolled his eyes, but then he pointed upwards until Kanda lifted his head and looked at the far up ceiling.

"No, but there's a little opening there. Just open your eyes for once, idiot Kanda," Allen told him triumphantly, but Kanda didn't give him the satisfaction of getting annoyed because he hadn't seen it before Allen did.

"And how do you plan getting there, that's more than 20 meters up, if you haven't realized," Kanda said with a snort.

"Well, either we climb or-" Kanda made a sudden jump to the side as Allen extended his crown belt and it dug itself into the ground just next to Kanda's feet, "you rely on me to get us out of here through this." Kanda looked particularly averse to this suggestion, but finally he snorted in annoyance and lifted his hand.

"Just hurry up then!" he hissed and Allen smiled at him, politely but darkly as well. Kanda noticed of course, but he chose to ignore the boy's expression.

"You really shouldn't be that hostile all of the time, or we'll never get out of here," Allen told him then he looked up. After a while he extended his crown belt and thanks to his coat was able to move up for a few meters. Kanda refused to make a step in Allen's direction and the boy sighed in slight disappointment. There was nothing shameful in being able to rely on the strength of others; but Allen did understand why Kanda was so reluctant. Allen usually couldn't bring himself to rely on others as well because he still saw a personal quest in being an exorcist, but as far as he could tell for Kanda it was a sign of weakness. And that really was not a good premise in having to work with each other. It was rather surprising then that they actually worked really well together during missions. But then it was not a relying on each other, but rather a blind trust that they would complement each other. But this was not a fight, therefore they had to talk over their actions and that _never_ worked out between the two.

"Should I grab on to you and pull you up with me, or do you," Allen started but Kanda interrupted him with an indignant:

"Hmpf! As if I would need you to carry me!"

"Don't be such an idiot, Kanda!" Allen argued in annoyance, but if Kanda didn't want to then fine! He pulled himself up to the opening and climbed through. It was rather dark and he couldn't see far, so he just looked down where Kanda was waiting impatiently. Allen let down some ropes of his crown belt for Kanda to grab on to. "If you don't want me to help you then just climb on your own!" Kanda didn't need to be told twice and with a harsh tug he grabbed the white rope and started climbing up. Allen nearly fell through the hole again when Kanda pulled so viciously and frowned at Kanda. "Just so you know, you're quite heavy!" Kanda narrowed his eyes at that, glaring up at him with a sour expression.

"You're just too weak!" he argued and Allen snorted, then he reached out his hand to pull Kanda up, but the dark haired exorcist just ignored the offered help. Allen would have liked to punch him right back down into the hall and let him rot there for being so rude. But of course he didn't, he wasn't Kanda after all. Kanda looked around after a while, then he started walking. Allen raised an eyebrow but chose to follow him anyway. He could make out that they were in a narrow corridor now and in the distance there seemed to be a door.

"You can see pretty well in the darkness, can't you?" Allen asked and Kanda just snorted.

"I trained for that, not like you," he spat and the younger exorcist glared at Kanda's back.

"It was not my fault that we were poor!"

"Just shut up," Kanda interrupted him before Allen could continue, not that Allen really wanted to talk to Kanda about his childhood.

"You really should just stop looking down on other people. Why is your respect so hard to earn?" Allen asked in irritation.

"What would you want with my respect? Respect counts for nothing on the battle field!"

"But the battle field is not our whole life!" Allen argued. Kanda turned around, his palm already flat on the door, ready to push it open. Despite the darkness Allen could clearly see the expression Kanda wore; it was full of contempt and anger.

"Then what do you think it is? A game? Stop being so damn naïve, bean sprout!" he hissed. Allen was taken aback by Kanda's words, but he recovered rather quickly.

"I'm no fool! I've never had it easy in my life! But at least I see that there's not only war, mission and duty in life! One can enjoy it as well! But maybe that requires too much thought; you don't seem to possess the mental capacities to enjoy something!" Allen spat right back. Kanda grabbed Allen by the collar, then he slammed him against the door that immediately gave in and opened. Allen fell to the floor and Kanda just walked past him. The white haired boy sat up, more than just a bit annoyed, but then he looked around. This room was very bright compared to the last one. A very narrow passage lead some meters into the room, but then it opened up, at least it might, because the only thing that they were able to see were reflections.

"What is this? A mirror labyrinth?" Allen wondered when he had caught up with Kanda.

"Tch! It's not even remotely funny," Kanda said and lifted Mugen. "I'll just destroy what's in my way. I don't have time for such childish nonsense!" Allen just took a step back to be out of harm's way but Kanda's attack never came. "What?!" Allen looked at Kanda and saw that a hand had reached out of the mirror and held on to Kanda's sword. "Bean sprout!"

"I'm not doing anything!" Allen shouted, but he understood why it was him that Kanda was accusing; it was his reflection that had suddenly come alive to stop Kanda from destroying the room. "Ah!" Allen suddenly winced and lifted his right hand where a long thin wound started to bleed. Kanda looked over his shoulder to see what was wrong, but when he realized that Allen had gotten injured, he lowered his weapon. "it… It injured me?!" The reflection pulled its hand back, but then he also pushed the other through the glass. With both hands on the surface he pulled his upper body out of the mirror, much to the horror of Allen.

"Good evening, gentlemen," the mirror image said, only halfway out of the mirror, but that pleasant smile seemed to suggest that he had absolutely no intention of advancing further. Allen's eyes darted to the other mirrors but their other reflections just stared like them and nothing else came alive.

"Tch. Two bean sprouts, it can't get any worse than this," Kanda hissed, Mugen still in its invocated state – there was no way to tell what the mirror reflection was up to after all.

"What are you?"

"Merely a resident of this area. I will guide you through this stage of our little game," it said and Allen raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"This is a game?"

"Precisely," his reflection said cheerfully and Kanda just lifted his head towards the ceiling in annoyance and turned around partially, to glare at Allen.

"It's not my fault! It's not!" Allen shouted and the young man in the mirror laughed at that.

"Let's not think about faults and flaws here. You asked me if this was a game. It is, I told you. The point is of course to get to the goal. There you will be able to stop the invocation and claim your price, the Innocence."

"And what's the whole point in this ridiculous set up?"

"Don't you know what games are for, mister?" The reflection asked and Allen laughed shortly, "it's to pass time, to enjoy oneself. There is no point actually. I'm sure you must know or else I really pity you."

"As if Kanda ever played games. I bet he was just the same unsociable person when he was still a child," Allen said and the reflection looked at Kanda with interest, then he shrugged.

"Well, then you might find difficulties getting out of it, but ah well, that should not be my concern," he said, "all I need to do is give you a hint now."

"Can't you just tell us the way out, please?" Allen asked and the reflection laughed.

"The fastest way out is to play along. You are two players but you can only get out if you collaborate. This is no competition, remember. It's a game. Enjoy yourselves!" With this the reflection waved and slipped back into the mirror where he became just an ordinary reflection of Allen again.

"Uhm… That's really strange…," Allen said with an unsure laugh, but then he looked around, "let's get going, right? He said the fastest way out is playing along."

"And what would you suggest, idiot?" Kanda asked in irritation and Allen had to smile at that.

"Have you never been in a mirror labyrinth?" He asked and Kanda just glared at him, "I guess not. Well, the whole point is to find your way out, it's really entertaining!" With that Allen started to walk, hands outstretched and a smile on his face.

"Tch, you child," Kanda hissed in annoyance.

"He did say that we should enjoy ourselves, so just do! I told you life is not all about fighting!"

"Have you forgotten that this is a mission as well?" Kanda growled as he followed Allen, "we should just destroy everything and be done with it!"

"You can't Kanda! Haven't you seen what happened before?" Allen argued and showed him his right palm, "you'll only end up hurting us! Just play along now!"

"Tch! So annoying!"

-

When the two managed to get out they found themselves in another strange, very big room. The high ceiling was painted to look like a sky with clouds and there was a very small town consisting of a few very colourful one-story houses. Surrounding it was a field with high grass and some trees. Again, Kanda and Allen could not make out a door that would lead them outside, but there were children playing hopscotch.

"And how should we – hey!" Kanda had started to complain but Allen just walked up to the children.

"Excuse me, do you know how we can get out of here?" Allen asked a young girl that stopped playing to listen to him.

"I don't know mister, but why don't you ask mister rabbit?" The girl suggested and Allen raised an eyebrow.

"And where is mister rabbit?" He wondered and the young girl pointed out into the field.

"He lives in the field. Just call for him and you'll find him! In case you don't know how he looks like," the girl started again and held her hands up, "he has loooong ears!" With that she turned around and threw the stone to continue playing her game with her friends.

"Thank you," Allen said, then he turned back to Kanda with a look of confusion. "Well then…"

"I certainly will not go to look for a rabbit!"

"Kanda, don't take this all too seriously, we're in a game," Allen reminded him and Kanda rolled his eyes in irritation. Allen walked out into the fields, Kanda following grudgingly.

"Uhm… Mister… Mister rabbit? Are you around? We need your help!" Allen called, his cheeks heating up slightly. For a while nothing happened, but then the grass some meters off rustled and Allen indeed found a rabbit approaching him.

"My, my. Two youngsters in my field. What do you need?" Allen stared at the rabbit, but he kept himself form freaking out. Kanda just kept quiet, there was no way to tell what he was thinking about a speaking rabbit.

"We want to find out how to get out of here, do you know?" Allen asked and the rabbit nodded its little head.

"Go to the trees, they will help you," he said, then he bid them far-well and hopped away. Kanda just groaned and Allen sighed deeply.

"This… kind of feels like a child's dream, doesn't it?" Allen asked after a while and steered his steps towards the nearest tree.

"How? This is just stupid!"

"Just because it doesn't make sense it doesn't have to be stupid!" Allen argued in annoyance. "Were you never a child, Kanda?"

"What kind of question is that, you idiot?"

"Then what did you dream of when you were a child?"

"That's absolutely none of your business!" Kanda snapped and Allen just sighed deeply.

"Excuse me?" He asked, addressing himself at the tree, "Mister rabbit sent us here, can you help us get out of here?"

"_I_ can't", the tree spoke up and its bark changed into a wrinkled face. "You have to put some effort into it. As this is a game, the only way to get out is to play. And do you know how to play, young man?" Allen blinked at the tree in surprise.

"What kind of game?" He wondered, "ah! The children! Thank you, uh, mister tree!" Allen turned around and ran back into the little town. Kanda followed with an angry scowl on his face.

"What the hell was this about?", but Allen already was talking to the children and paid no attention to his comrade. After a short while the children made way and Allen showed Kanda a little stone.

"Kanda, come! Let's play hopscotch!"

"What?!" Kanda shouted, "never!"

"Come on! That's the only way out! Don't tell me you don't know how to play?" And as to demonstrate, Allen threw the stone on the first field and started jumping on the various fields, hopping on one leg. Whereas Kanda was first too annoyed at the idea that he would have to jump around like some idiot, the look on Allen's face did calm him somehow. The younger exorcist really seemed to enjoy himself, making a rather graceful figure while he jumped around like that. And the children also seemed to be rather fond of Allen's display of skill.

"See? It's really easy. Try, Kanda!" Allen said after he was already done. The field under his feet was glowing slightly and he threw Kanda the stone. The dark haired exorcist looked at it with doubt, but then he reluctantly walked up to the drawing on the floor. With one last annoyed glance at Allen he drew the stone and, urged on by the children and Allen's laughter, he started jumping. He felt like a complete idiot while jumping around, but actually it was not half as bad and when he was done and jumped to the field where Allen was also standing, the boy received him with merry laughter and patted him on the back.

"You really did well, Kanda!" Kanda frowned and wanted to retort with some nasty remark, but then the floor around them suddenly gave way and they fell into nothingness. Allen yelled in surprise, but their fall was slowed and they landed on their feet.

"That gave me a fright!" Allen said in relief and looked around, "ah, another white room!" And indeed, they were in a plain white room. White walls, white floor, white ceiling. Nothing else.

"And what stupid things do we have to do here?" Kanda asked but Allen just shrugged. "There isn't even an exit here!"

"Hm… A plain white room… And nobody tells us what to do…," Allen mused but Kanda just rolled his eyes at him for stating the obvious. "Well… It's a game so… Kanda," Allen started and turned towards the dark haired exorcist, "what do you do when there's nothing to do?"

"Why do you ask me?" Kanda wondered.

"Because you've been utterly useless until now," Allen told him nonchalantly, a smile on his face. Kanda narrowed his eyes dangerously, but he didn't argue with him. For once.

"Children use their imagination," he replied after a while, "even if thing's aren't there, they can imagine it." Allen nodded and closed his eyes shortly.

"I wish that there was a chair to sit in. A comfortable one with cushions," he said and indeed a chair appeared behind Allen and with a delighted laugh he let himself fall into it.

"Tch, don't wish for such useless things! An exit. We need the exit," Kanda snapped, but even after wishing for it, it didn't appear. "Hn. It would have been too simple…"

"So how about… a way to reach the exit? Wouldn't it be nice if we could just fly up to it, comfortably on my armchair?" And suddenly the armchair started to float.

"That's stupid!" Kanda snapped and the armchair crashed down on again, sending Allen to the floor.

"Ouch! Kanda! Your negative way of thinking destroys the imagined objects! Stop it!" Allen complained, rubbing the back of his head, then he sprung up on his feet. "Just imagine how funny this is! We can wish for things and they will appear!" Allen turned his head up to the ceiling as if the entity able to grant his wishes sat up there. "I want dango! A whole lot of them!" And the sticky sweet started to sprout from the floor, ready for Allen to pick and eat. "Wow! Wonderful! Mmhm!"

"Stop wishing for such stupid things! How about being constructive here?!" Kanda hissed, yanking Allen up by his collar so that he would stop picking dango sticks.

"How many times do I need to remind you?! This is a game!" Allen shouted, "just let your imagination run wild!" Allen raised his hand and tapped his index finger against Kanda's forehead. "The exit is here! We just have to reach it through imagination." Kanda growled, but then he let Allen go. "And if you find everything I do stupid then how about you imagine it?" The younger exorcist looked up at him and smiled. "I am sure that you can do it. I would like to see your imagination…" Kanda glared at him, "come on. I'm really hungry! If you won't start then I'll just turn this entire room into food!" Kanda reached out and covered Allen's mouth with his hand.

"Stop now, or I wish you were mute," he said and the expression of Allen's eyes told him that he was pouting. "Good." Then Kanda let his hand drop and closed his eyes. He looked as if he would start meditating, but actually the room started to change. All of Allen's silly wishes disappeared and the floor got covered by green grass. A light breeze smelling of summer came up and Allen could hear the rustling of the wind going through a forest. The white walls started to fade more and more until a vast landscape started to spread in front of Allen's disbelieving eyes. The sky was a clear blue with the sun just shining above the tree tops in some distance. The hills were all green and the two stood on top of a hill overlooking a small village. Not an European village, that was sure, so Allen concluded that they were in Japan. And suddenly Allen felt how Kanda grabbed his hand. He was dragged forwards and before Allen could say anything the two of them were running down the hill. Allen just looked at Kanda in surprise but the older exorcist didn't turn his head. Allen looked up when he spotted a shadow passing over him and saw colourful kites flying in the sky. He widened his eyes and continued running after Kanda, his hand still hold by the young man. They arrived at the outskirts of the village and Kanda continued guiding him until they arrived at a certain house. Kanda pushed the door open and they walked in.

-

Kanda was panting because of all the running and Allen also had to catch his breath. The moment they had opened the door and entered they found themselves in another room that looked like the one that had held the Innocence. Allen's hand was still in Kanda's and he turned to look up at his face. Kanda wore a pained expression, but he soon turned his head away and let go of Allen's hand. The younger exorcist hesitated for a while, but he doubted that Kanda would appreciate it if he spoke to him now. Kanda had apparently showed him what he thought about if he was all on his own. What had it been? A memory of his childhood? Of his home? Allen felt almost as if he had seen something that he shouldn't have. But Kanda had grabbed his hand after all… So what did that mean? Allen sighed, then he walked into the room. It was a bedroom that belonged to a young girl and the Innocence was still glowing slightly on the table. It was a music box which had two figures dancing to a faint melody.

"We actually made it through the game, right?" Allen asked, more to himself, because he didn't expect Kanda to answer him. He wanted to touch the music box, but before he could, Kanda spoke up.

"Wait a moment, bean sprout," he said and Allen turned around. Kanda wore that calm, composed look again, as if nothing had happened before. "What you saw-"

"Don't worry about it, I would never speak about it to anybody. I don't even know what I saw…," Allen said with a gentle smile. Kanda frowned, but then he sighed and shook his head.

"I used to play games too when I was little…"

"Well, you used to be a child too… I understand why are so serious most of the time, but you shouldn't… And you looked quite funny when-"

"Shut up, idiot! I don't want to be reminded of that silly game!" Kanda snapped and Allen had to laugh, "but…" He fell silent and Allen looked at him in wonder. Kanda frowned and he apparently wasn't all that keen on continuing. "I guess I could… enjoy it sometimes…" Allen's eyes brightened up when he heard that and he nodded eagerly.

"Yes! That would be great!" He exclaimed then he remembered something, "How about we go out after we're done with this mission and let some kites fly?"

"Kites?" Kanda asked in surprise and Allen nodded. Kanda snorted, but then he smirked. "Of course. And now get us out of here." Allen grinned, then he took the music box from the table and it stopped glowing.

-

"Now that was easy. Let us go home," Link said and the two exorcist turned around in surprise, "why are you looking bewildered like that?"

"Did… Nothing happen?" Allen asked and Link raised an eyebrow.

"What is the matter, Walker? Did you expect something to happen?" Allen blinked at him in surprise, then he looked up at Kanda who just shrugged.

"Uh… No. No of course not!" He said with a laugh and Link nodded, taking the Innocence possessed object into custody. "How strange…"

"It was just a game after all. It doesn't need to make sense," Kanda reminded Allen and the white haired boy laughed at that.

"Yes, you're right after all."

-

**Notes:**

Despite not knowing what to write after I sat down this developed rather well X3 It's quite a bit longer than the 1500 words I wished to write.

As I'm quite a gamer during semester breaks (*lol*) I wanted this to have a RPG feeling initially (where one has to go around town, talk to people, solve riddles etc etc) but it changed to what you have here. And I imagine Kanda and Allen making quite a good figure when playing hopscotch ;3

I hope it was readable :D


	5. Doll

**Author's Notes:**

Moh, this is quite short… I'm sorry about that! I don't have much time at the moment. Even though the prompt is not bad I couldn't come up with something that really captured my interest. *unhappy*

**Prompt 5: Doll**

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

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5. Doll: Puppeteer

Kanda stood at the window framed by old, dusty and moth eaten curtains, looking out over the empty village. They had been forced to stop at this abandoned town because Allen had insisted that this was the best spot to gather their strengths. The Ark, and with it the safety of their home where they could treat their injuries, was still quite a way off. They had been forced to split up in the last mission; it had been too dangerous and Kanda and Allen had staid behind to act as bait. It had worked quite well, the others were safe, but Allen was now sitting in an old armchair like a sack of potatoes. Kanda could see him in the reflection of the window pane. The bean sprout had his fingernails dug into the armrests and his head was turned upwards to the ceiling where the plasterwork was already coming off due to years of neglect. His mouth and eyes, even though narrowed slightly, were open and he breathed evenly, but very deeply.

"You're hurt," Kanda stated after a while and turned away from the window to look into the room, "we should get going." Allen moved after a while, groaning as he shifted his position. But he didn't speak yet, all he seemed to do was look at the room. They were in the upper story of a seemingly random house; the floor was made out of old wooden tiles that creaked very loudly when one stepped onto it. It had two windows showing outside, the glass was dirty with dust and one of the curtains had torn and fallen to the floor where it was left to decompose. The walls were adorned with a floral pattern, but the wallpaper already peeled off from the wall at places. As far as furniture was concerned the room was quite ample; armchairs, a four poster bed with many blankets and cushions, shelves with books and various items of decoration, two dressers, one big wardrobe where one door had fallen off to reveal many silky dresses. Kanda had known from the start to what kind of person this room must have belonged to; a young, spoilt girl. Because wherever he looked he could see many, many dolls looking right back at him with cold glass eyes. Why the bean sprout had walked into this room was quite a mystery, but Kanda doubted that the boy really had bothered to take in his surroundings. Kanda technically had no problem with the room and its decoration, but whenever the faint light shone into the room it got reflected by many pairs of eyes and Kanda was still very tense from the previous battle. So whenever he saw something sparkling in the corner of his eye, he would whirl around and his hand never let go of Mugen. It really was getting on his strained nerves – it was time that they would get moving again, but there was no way to get the bean sprout up and moving as it seemed.

"There is no reason to worry about me," the younger exorcist finally spoke up, waving his left hand dismissively, while he had his eyes covered by the right. Kanda frowned, but then he walked away from the window to take a seat on a chest, not all too far away from the white haired boy.

"It's not as if I worried about an idiot like you. We have finished our mission. There's no reason to dally!" Kanda replied in irritation. Allen laughed at that and folded his hands in his lap, looking at the window. "At least we're safe there."

"Why?" Kanda raised his head to look at Allen.

"Why what?"

"Why do you think that you're safe at the Black Order? What exactly is safe about it? Just because all the exorcists go there, that doesn't mean it's safe in the slightest bit," Allen argued and Kanda glared at him.

"Because of the Vatican's people? I don't care about them," Kanda said and Allen sighed, shaking his head, then he smiled at Kanda.

"The Black Order is simply a house full of dolls, like this room," he said and Kanda raised an eyebrow, "all of them move according to their duties and missions. They have no free will, even though they think they have. In the end they cannot go further than the strings which are attached to them because they are exorcists."

"Like dolls?" Kanda asked in confusion and saw the boy nod. "Tch. You're babbling nonsense again."

"How am I babbling nonsense? You know very well that it's true. An exorcist is severed from the life he led before to move into the spheres controlled by the supervisors, the Innocence, the Vatican. Depending on what decisions are made, the exorcist has to act. Would you call that freedom? Surely you must agree that even you are greatly tied down by who you've been forced to become once you took up Mugen." Kanda thought about that for a while. Of course, the bean sprout did have a point. He had seen many different kinds of dolls ever since he joined the Black Order: Akuma, the mechanical puppets of the Earl. The useless robots that idiot Komui built when he had nothing better to do, but who could take that seriously? Then he remembered the first mission he had together with Allen where Innocence had forced a doll to come to life. He had also seen Akuma turn people into dolls not all too long ago. Of course one got controlled once one decided or was forced to become an exorcist of the Black Order. But how should that be surprising? How should that even matter?

"Having your own head will probably not help you in any way. So what if we are being controlled? We are soldiers. We follow orders. And that's it. There's no place for own ambitions and wishes," Kanda said with a serious voice after a period of some silence. Allen looked at him, the smile never leaving his face and it started to annoy Kanda again.

"What a dreary way of thinking you have," he commented and Kanda snorted. "No place for ambition and wishes?" Allen put his hands on the armrests, whirling up small clouds of dust, then he pushed himself up on his feet. He first swayed, but then he regained his balance and raised his head up, smiling down at Kanda. "Then you have to make this place!"

"Tch. Stop it with those utopian wishes, it's getting you nowhere, idiot," Kanda remarked, still sitting on top of the chest, meeting Allen's fierce look with his own cold and serious eyes. "You yourself said that we were mere dolls. We all should know our places in this world. And whether you like your position or not is your problem. If you step out of line then – tch!- well you know best what happens." Allen laughed and put his hands in his hips, studying Kanda with his amused smile that didn't fit their conversation topic.

"That's why I said that you have such a dreary way of thinking. Don't you wonder sometime? You are a human as well…" Allen said with a sigh, but then he continued speaking, „Are we our own person? Are we being controlled? What are we made of? What is inside of us? Are we empty shells? Is there blood flowing through us? Do we even have a beating heart?" He walked over to Kanda and put his hand on Kanda's head before the other could pull away. "You have these thoughts as well, stop fooling yourself. You are as much of a doll than _I_ am. And you never liked it. That's why you stay with me." Kanda glared up at him and swatted Allen's hand away. Unflinching, Allen continued speaking. "I am greatly being controlled by invisible ties; just look at my heart." He smiled and put both of his hands over his chest, "Hearts… Yes… I am only alive because of Innocence. I cannot even try to escape it because if I did, I would just die. It is Innocence that is keeping me alive. You see? My sphere of movement is very limited."

"Well, that's though luck. But it's your own fault," Kanda said in annoyance and got up, walking past the shorter exorcist to go back to the window, hoping to clear his mind because the incessant chatter of the other got on his nerves.

"Oh well, yes you might say that. But even though I hate moving on predetermined paths I cannot sever the ties that control me altogether. I can't and I don't want to. Because this body still has some ties that connect me to Mana."

"Then why are you complaining?" Kanda asked in annoyance, having heard enough of this talk already. "This really isn't getting us anywhere!"

"I am complaining because you still consider the Order to be a safe place. I expect that you are wise enough to know that it isn't. I would want you to make your own decisions too. Isn't that the reason why you are here?"

"Says the master puppeteer," Kanda mocked and Allen had to laugh at that. "You say you want me to make my own decisions, but you have your own head with your own plans for everybody after all. Haven't you done enough controlling to counteract the other people controlling you?"

"Oh well, but it doesn't keep me from wondering," he said and leant himself on the window next to Kanda. "What would it be like to put the strings into the hands of another puppeteer?" Kanda raised an eyebrow, looking down at the white haired boy next to him. Allen raised his hand and patted Kanda's cheek with his warm hand. "I get tired too after a while." Kanda didn't seem disturbed at the touch, but he didn't look very thrilled either.

"Then we should finally get out of his dirty hole and get some rest at the Black Order. Safe or not," Kanda told him and Allen laughed, withdrawing his hand.

"Well fine then," he said with a dramatic sigh, then he turned around and walked to the door.

"Oi," Kanda called and the white haired exorcist turned around again. "_Cecil_. If you really want to put the strings into somebody else's hands, then how about you withdraw to the background and let the bean sprout make the decisions? It's his body after all and if you complain about being controlled then you could also try to give him a chance." The young man smiled at that.

"Do you have so much faith in him?"

"Yes. I do," Kanda replied honestly. The other exorcist sighed at that, but then he looked at Kanda with a soft expression.

"So, that is your decision then? Hm. Maybe I should try…"

-

Allen was sitting on his infirmary bed with his hands linked behind his head, sighing deeply.

"You really took me a bit by surprise, Kanda," he said and Kanda, who was sitting on the corner of the bed, with his arms crossed over his chest, snorted in annoyance. "Wouldn't it have been a lot easier for you to get rid of me?"

"It certainly would give me less headaches, you annoying idiot," Kanda replied and Allen frowned in displeasure. "But it's your body after all. You should be thankful that I even bother." The white haired exorcist lowered his arms, feeling slightly dejected.

"I am grateful Kanda. Because I really do not want to be controlled all of the time. I know that I am largely influenced by Mana, _him_ and the Innocence. But still, I do have my own goals after all." Allen turned his hands into fists and pressed his lips together in slight frustration. "I want to save humans and Akuma! What's so wrong about that?! Why does it always have to be something bigger than personal goals?!" Kanda frowned, but then he reached out and put his hand on Allen's shoulder. The younger exorcist looked up in wonder.

"You don't have to want to change the world to be able to make a difference. The 14th failed once, but maybe you can do better. Simply because you have other goals…" Allen bit his lips, but then he reached out and embraced Kanda. Kanda, despite being surprised at first, didn't push him away. He let himself be embraced, then he also raises his arms to return the hug. "With you as the one pulling the strings, I wouldn't mind becoming a mere puppet again…"

"Kanda…," Allen said, then he let go of Kanda to glare at him, "I won't allow that. If you really want me to be the one who makes the decisions for you, then I will see to it that you can have your own ambitions and wishes again once we've won!"

"Tch. You and your utopian visions," Kanda snorted as a reply and Allen had to roll his eyes, "But fine. I will look forward to it, bean sprout."

"Don't call me bean sprout!" Allen called, hitting Kanda's shoulder, but then he laughed. "Thank you, Kanda, for having faith in me."

"Just don't disappoint me," Kanda warned him and Allen shook his head with a smile.

"I won't… I promise."

-

**Notes:**

Grr. Didn't know how to end this! Does this even count as Yullen? I'm not so sure.

Go me, I gave the 14th a name! I borrowed it from my sister – Cécile. :D

I thought quite a bit about what I wanted to do with this prompt. I made various notes and a mind-map, but I had too many ideas for half-assed things to come up with something good. I knew though that I wanted to take the prompt into the direction of "doll – puppet – being controlled". Therefore I made this my starting point and because I haven't written the 14th annoying Kanda yet I let him come to word now. I do see him as a great schemer, so it kind of worked. But I'm still not entirely convinced…

Hopefully the next chapter will finally have enough Yullen to satisfy me… It's the finale after all! *lol*

See you then!


	6. Night Out

**Author's Notes:**

Here we are, the final chapter of Yullen Week!

As a warning: there is an **non-graphic depiction of sexual activity**, but it's still moving within the T rating, as no _decisive_ terms are being used to describe their actions. If you know what I mean ;3

Anyway:

Kanda's birthday. The end of the battle. Love finally unleashed. The great finale of the Yullen Week! ;D

**Prompt 6: Night Out**

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino**

**

* * *

**

**6. Night Out: At the End of the Old World**

„Today is the 6th of June," Allen whispered. Kanda looked up and turned his head towards him. How Allen was still able to keep track of the passing of time was almost admirable. He had stopped counting days or telling week-days apart when they arrived at what would be the final battle-ground. "It's your birthdays today, isn't it?"

"Maybe," Kanda snorted as a reply and Allen laughed into the night, his voice barely audible. "Who cares?"

"I care… Everybody besides you would care… Unfortunately…" Allen left the sentence open, but he didn't even need to finish. Unfortunately everybody was not here anymore. God only knew who was still alive. Only the two of them were here, therefore he shouldn't get his hopes up that anybody besides them had managed to stay alive until this point. It was rather irritating that Kanda had managed to get stuck with someone like Allen, here in this desolate place. But actually he knew that he should be grateful; Allen was near. That meant that Allen was not dead.

-

Both of them were engulfed in an almost serene silence as they sat contemplating the darkness around them. There was a slight breeze going over the field, silently whirling up the dry dust and tugging at both of their clothes and hair. It was really quiet; there seemed to be absolutely nothing alive next to the two lone exorcists. They sat on some sort of hill, Kanda on the floor, Mugen discarded some meters away from him. His fingers were still trembling slightly from the strain of the constant fighting in the endless battles. He almost wished to never touch the heavy Innocence piece again, for the moment he didn't even want to think about it. He lifted his sword hand up, looking at it; it was dirty and bloodied, but among the dust and blood and mud sticking to his finger there was also a touch of victory. He hadn't let Mugen fall to the ground because he could no longer go on, no, he let go of it because he had already reached his goal. And now... _What now?_

Allen next to him kept his silence. The older exorcist could make out the boy's shape in the darkness; he was some meters away, casually sitting with his weight on his outstretched arms behind him. Probably Allen had felt Kanda's eyes on him, because he turned his head to the side, showing him a smile.

"It's very calm, don't you think?" He asked, "it's hard to even imagine that we've been fighting here just hours ago..." Kanda didn't give him a reply to that. He had already witnessed battle-fields clouded in heavy silence after it had been abandoned by the soldiers. He knew the heavy atmosphere, the unsettling tranquillity, the destruction and the bodies. But this battle-field, here with Allen, seemed slightly different. It was...

"Lonely, isn't it?" Allen spoke up what Kanda had almost thought. The young exorcist sighed deeply, pulling his legs up to rest his arms on his knees, linking his fingers casually. "We've been sitting here for hours, not talking to each other... Just... waiting..."

"For what?" Kanda asked with a frown. Allen dropped his head, then he drew in a deep breath and let it out again when he lifted his face towards the sky above them. There were a few clouds moving swiftly over the dark blue canvas that stretched out over their heads. Kanda could also spot some stars twinkling whenever the patchy clouds revealed some of the sky.

"Dawn?" Allen suggested after a while, "but it's still about three hours away..." And then? Kanda almost asked, but he could feel his question lingering in Allen's words and the way he spoke. What was there to do? What would happen when the sun rose on what would be Kanda's 19th birthday? Kanda had never looked forward to his birthdays, but he usually didn't feel tense because of them either. Kanda looked up when he heard Allen move; the young exorcist rose and then he walked over to where Kanda was sitting. Kanda looked up at him with a frown, but Allen merely sat down again, not waiting to be allowed to take a seat. Kanda didn't complain though. With Allen there it felt less suffocating all at once and Kanda felt himself relaxing. Maybe it was lonely, but he was not all alone in this wasteland. The _saviour_ was there with him.

"We don't have to wait here, there's no reason to," Kanda spoke up after a while.

"I don't trust myself to leave yet... I... feel very exhausted when I think about leaving this battlefield and my whole body gets limp... Let's wait for dawn, then we can see..." He stopped and shook his head, but Kanda understood him well enough.

"You want to see what has become of it? You know how battlefields look. But there probably won't even be corpses to collect..."

"Kanda... Don't be so pessimistic," Allen told him with a frown on his white face. Kanda snorted.

"It's not as if I wish to see the bodies of our people," he said, "but as we've been separated quite some time ago-"

"Six days ago," Allen reminded him with a solemn voice. Kanda chose to ignore the remark:

"We can't know who survived other than us," Kanda said and Allen put his head on his knees. "Don't cry about it, it's useless."  
"But I'm sad," Allen argued, "aren't you sad as well?"

"I'll be sad once I know what I have to mourn, being sad in advance is just stupid and pointless," Kanda told him grimly and Allen lifted his head again, wiping his eyes.

"...Yes," he said and sighed, "but I'm afraid..."

"You defeated the Earl, there is nothing to be afraid of," Kanda said, but Allen shook his head.

"But I will be afraid to see the sun rise. Because I don't know if I want to see what the world has become after the end." Allen's voice was calm and barely above a whisper, but because he was sitting so near to him Kanda could hear him very well. "How will we live – can we even life – now that there is no more need for us to fight?" Kanda contemplated these words for a moment, then he looked to his side where Mugen was lying abandoned by its conformer for the moment.

"How can you be sure that we no longer have to fight? You still have your weapon..." Kanda said and Allen raised his left hand. It seemed to be the only part of his body that was not injured, "But the difference of a world without the Earl might be that you now have the _choice_ whether you want to be a weapon or not. If we are no longer exorcists, then we are simply humans. And humans have the choice to be ignorant of Innocence," Kanda told him calmly. Allen studied Kanda wordlessly, wonder in his grey eyes, but then he smiled.

"But there's no way that we could ever forget what we've seen and what our bodies have experienced...," he said, reaching his hands out before him, then he let them drop to the ground, looking at Kanda from underneath his long white bangs. "But I'll be sad... If the world changes and I can no longer return... Even if we all survived, there is no more need for us all to stay together, we are no longer bound by one big cause... There will be no reason for us two to meet again." He said and his face became quite sad and he looked to the floor to hide it, but even his smile was faltering, "The sun will rise, you will walk away and I'll never see you again..." Kanda was a bit surprised by that, but then he snorted.

"Don't be such a cry-baby, beansprout," he said and Allen frowned up at him.

"You still don't call me by my name. You never did, even though – and I recall this quite clearly – you said that you'll remember it if I last my first month at the order!" Allen said and Kanda rolled his eyes. The white haired youth sighed and folded his hands in front of his face, touching the fingertips to his forehead. "I survived... my first months and first real missions. I survived my first brush with the Noah. I survived the loss of my Innocence. I survived the plunge into darkness. I survived the final battle..." With his head slightly tilted to the side, and the fingers now in front of his mouth as if to hush Kanda's answer, he asked: "would you have thought?" The dark haired exorcist hesitated, but then he shrugged.

"I saw that you weren't weak. But I didn't imagine that a scrawny idiot with unrealistic goals will be the one to end it all. You're the destroyer of time and yet..." Kanda looked up to the sky, "we're still here. We still exist, time still exists. You can't even get destruction done right, can you, beansprout?" He mocked slightly, but with a grim smirk on his lips. Allen lowered his hands to the soft earth beneath him, then he smiled.

"I told you: I want to be a destroyer that also saves. And I kept my promise...," he replied and Kanda nodded.

"Yes... Who would have thought...," he said silently and they fell into silence once again. Allen looked out over the battle-field before them, facing towards where the first rays of the sun would come to touch the blood soaked soil. After a while Kanda decided that it was now his turn to talk and break the silence:

"I thought that I was prepared for this kind of situation," he said and looked at Allen, "I've done everything I had to do. I have no regrets, absolutely none. And yet, I'm still here. Will I have to face the dawn with you? Heck, I don't know. But I'm still alive and I can't stop the dawn from coming, so I might as well look." Allen blinked at him, probably surprised to hear Kanda talking like this, but then he nodded.

"Hn. I understand. It's not as if I intend to give up, but I have this feeling in my heart that all I am will fade with the night. All I have and all I am belong to an old world that now lies shattered around me. This battlefield represents everything I've lived for. And now it's decaying. I..." He stopped and just looked at Kanda, so that the young man raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What?"

"I wonder if it's bad luck or actually a gift that I have to spend the last hours of this long night with you..."

"What do you mean by that?" Kanda wondered and Allen's steady gaze didn't leave him.

"Because we're similar, aren't we? We're tied together and yet there are so many things that I have never dared to tell you." Kanda continued looking at Allen, but he got over his initial surprise and was very calm now because he knew what Allen was talking about. "_We_ too belong to something which will die soon, even though we actually never were... And... That makes me so sad..." Kanda sighed, then he reached out, putting his hand on Allen's shoulder. The white haired boy directed his gaze at the hand in wonder, then he looked back up at Kanda.

"Then let us be before the sun rises. We have nothing to lose," he said and Allen lowered his head, lifting his hands to stop the tears that started flowing.

"Kanda... Kanda I never told you," Allen started, but Kanda put his other hand on Allen's shoulder and pushed him to the ground.

"Hm..." Was all Kanda said, bending over Allen, "I know. Your silence was loud enough," he said. Allen closed his eyes and Kanda's hand went under Allen's neck to lift him slowly until their lips met. And Allen let out a dry sob.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But I love you. I love you Kanda." Allen put his hands on his face, "Kanda... Kanda. At the very end of my road and the end of the world I love you...!"

"Love...," Kanda replied, his mouth pressed against the corner of Allen's lips, "yes... Me too..."

-

Kanda's hands were very warm as they travelled over Allen's body. Slowly his fingers moved over the pale skin, touching, pressing but mostly caressing. The bleeding cuts and many bruises that were revealed when he slowly undressed Allen, reminded him where they were and who they were. But Allen's soft breathing and the slow rising of his chest as he lay under him, hands gently resting on Kanda's shoulders, seemed like a promise to make him forget. So he poured all what he still had left into the kisses he placed on Allen's face and body. His kisses were slow, long and deliberate. Allen's lips were inviting and soft and the touch of them was almost ethereal. There was no need to rush, the dawn was still some way off, the night continued to engulf them in comforting darkness and silence and they had still much love to share. Kanda, even though he had thought it might make him cringe, did not mind the touch of Allen's Innocence as both of his hands slid from Kanda's shoulders to his upper arms and down to his hands that now rested on top of Allen's hips. Allen's mouth never left Kanda's, lips lingering on his, then withdrawing mere centimetres to kiss anew. Again and again and again. Kanda's lips had been cold and dry at first, but now even they had warmed to Allen's caress. Allen linked their hands, then he guided them up to his own neck, voicelessly asking Kanda for an embrace. While they had rarely understood each other when they talked, their silence, only broken by the noise of kissing, deep breathing and their bodies slowly moving against each other, was enough to know what both of them desired. It was love, not passion, that they enjoyed and neither of them was in any hurry to change that. Allen's hands, now free, travelled up to Kanda's hair, drawing his fingers through he black strands. It had become tangled up, dirty and stuck together with blood at places, but Allen still liked the sensation of the silky hair passing through his fingers. Kanda interrupted his kisses, only to move his mouth to Allen's ear, kissing again and slowly moving downwards to his collarbone. The ways that Kanda could move him, way differently than pushing him to fury, were unexpected even for Allen. When not wielding Mugen, Kanda's hands were light on his skin and his touch left warm imprints on his body. Allen wanted so much more of this warmth. If the dawn of the new world had to come, then he at least wanted to take a lingering feeling of comfort into the new day.

-

Kanda could see the last stars above them. The clouds had dispersed and now the sky seemed to be so near. Allen was looking down on him, his white hair had slipped over his shoulders and framed his pale face, sticking to his sweaty skin. His grey eyes were fixed on Kanda's face.

"What's the matter?" He asked silently, bending down to kiss the other man's face, his hands on Kanda's shoulders.

"The stars are starting to disappear," Kanda replied after a while and then he reached out to put his hands on Allen's hips. The young boy sighed, sitting back up, still straddling Kanda's lap. Suddenly Kanda reached out to grab Allen's wrist. "You..." Allen looked surprised at first, but then he smiled.

"I won't... Can't you feel me? I'm here. I'm fine... I'm fine...," he said and Kanda put his hand over his eyes, but then he also sat up, making Allen gasp slightly. Then he pushed the younger boy back to the ground, covering his body with his.

"I feel you all around me... You're not running away," he whispered and Allen wrapped his arms around Kanda's neck, kissing his cheek. And that was his only reply

-

It was not yet dawn when Kanda pulled Allen up on his feet.

"It's almost day-break. Let's be on our way...," he suggested and Allen sighed. Kanda looked at him with an examining expression, but then he walked over to where Mugen was lying and put it back in its scabbard. With all the mud, dust, oil and blood sticking to its blade. He wanted something of the old world staining what should also not reach into the new start that Allen had made possible. "Come." Fortunately, Allen didn't hesitate when Kanda started walking down the hill. With their boots sinking into the soil they made their way over the huge battlefield. Even in the darkness the extent of the destruction was apparent; not one tree had remained standing, the ground was upturned, the grass scorched and splattered with blood and oil. Akuma debris was lying around here and there and Allen also saw enemies lying dead among all the other victims of this war. On this battlefield friend and enemy alike decayed side by side. Allen didn't openly start to lament, but the silent tears he shed spoke words of their own.

"We will clean up later," Kanda always had to tell the younger exorcist, "you can build graves later."

"Kanda. Kanda I don't want to see the dawn," Allen said at once, falling behind and Kanda stopped. Turning around he saw Allen glaring at the ground, "I don't-"

"Stop being so weak!" Kanda called and Allen flinched, "I won't let you remain among the death! You _will_ see the dawn!" He walked back the few meters to where Allen was standing and grabbed his hand, "come. You're not on your own." Allen wiped his eyes.

"I'm sorry... But I don't know where to go... I have only planned my path up to this point," he said silently and Kanda didn't reply for a moment.

"We'll just head straight on. There's no need to think about it," Kanda replied. The world around them was getting clearer as the sky became brighter in the distance. Kanda felt how Allen got slower and frowned.

"Don't turn around!" He hissed and Allen's head turned to Kanda, "there's no reason to look back at the moment!" They started walking up a hill and before they reached the top Kanda turned to Allen and saw how he had closed his eyes. With a sigh he dared to risk a look back over the battlefield in the early morning light. This sight, he would never forget it. But there must be something ahead of them as well. "Come. It's not far now..." They walked up the last bit of the hill, Kanda guiding Allen, and then they were at the top, facing the dawn. Kanda, without being able to avoid it, let out a sigh of relief. Allen, hearing that also cracked an eye open and was blinded by the sun. He lifted his hand to shadow his eyes, but then he managed to see what lay before them. There it was, bathed in the first rays of the new day: their world. Kanda looked at the green fields, forests and the Black Order headquarters in the distance.

"You managed to stay alive throughout it all… Allen." Allen stirred and looked to the side disbelievingly. With sunlight shining on his face Kanda watched him, smiling slightly. Allen's eyes filled with tears and he didn't even try to hold back. He nodded and squeezed Kanda's hand.

"Yes. Thank God. Thank God, we're alive...!" He let go of Kanda's hand and embraced him, laughing despite his tears. "Happy Birthday, Kanda!" Apparently that was the only thing Allen could come up in this situation. Kanda didn't mind, it allowed him to thank Allen. Thank him for all he had ever done for him.

"Hn, thank you. For enabling me to live in a world you saved," he said and returned the embrace. "We got this far... Let's go home...," Kanda said and pointed at the cathedral, whose towers they could see through the high trees. Allen hesitated, but he decided to follow Kanda. After all, he still felt the warmth he had experienced before the dawn broke.

-

Kanda never let go of Allen's hand. Not when Allen had started running as soon as the walls of their headquarter had come into sight. Not when Allen trembled when he saw that it too had sustained damage. Not when he met the first people alive. Not when he started to cry. Not when Linali and Rabi came to embrace them.

"You finally should stop crying," Kanda told him with a sigh but Allen just continued sobbing, until it changed to laughs. He then finally let go of Kanda's hand and reached up to pull Kanda down a bit, hugging him.

"But I'm not crying because I'm sad! I'm happy!"

"I know, I know," Kanda groaned, but he didn't push him away.

"Let's celebrate!" Rabi suggested in a loud voice and nobody was averse to that. "What a way to start a birthday, right Yu?"  
"Tch, you wouldn't know," Kanda replied, then he shot Allen a smirk and the boy frowned in embarrassment. He then shortly patted Allen's head, then he followed the others into the dining hall. "Oi! You're coming? Even though you might not know what path you will choose next, the dining hall is certainly on your way there, Allen!" Allen's head snapped up and he sighed dramatically.

"Don't make fun of me, Kanda! Hey! Wait!" Allen called, but then he laughed and followed Kanda into the hall where suddenly everything burst into life to celebrate.

Certainly, Allen didn't know yet what would happen or what path he should walk now. His fear was not gone yet and neither his pain for having lost many people to this war. But right now he would just concentrate on what lay directly before him. Food, his friends and Kanda. The warmth of last night was still here and all the rest would come in time. He was sure of it. The dawn of the new day had broken. Kanda turned 19. They survived. The world was still there for them to enjoy. And Allen would never forget this night out on the battlefield.

The end

-

**Notes:**

Finally, the end of the long battle; which is only the start of a new beginning! :D

And here ends my contribution to Yullen Week! Looking back on these six days I must say that it was really entertaining, even though it wasn't always easy to come up with the stories and type them... But I'm glad that I participated!

It certainly did me good to write some "normal" Kanda x Allen stuff (being the happy girl!Allen fangirl that I am).

I hope that you could enjoy my little contribution even though I made you suffer through a lot of angst and emotional turmoil (and probably quite a few typos and mistakes *lol*)!

:3


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